Am I confused?

I'm having mixed feelings today. Perhaps it was fears of the unknown. I had firmly thought it was purely concern and worries as a friend. Oki..close & special friends. But it grew so strong this morning that I couldn't focus at work. I was so unease and worried. Maybe I should say I was frightened. Frightened of ??? I am asking myself this question too. For almost an hour my heart felt so heavy.. I don't know what had happened to my heart. I only prayed the doctor will say it's nothing negative and it's going to be something tiny and minor. But we have to wait and observe for 6 weeks. That's not long but it's not short either! Damn! The waiting is suffocating! Perhaps my visit of Grandpa at the hospital on Monday evening also affected me. I am certain its not like what No. 1 always said..but..but.. I am kinda confused with my emotions right now. I needed to sort all these out. I don't want it to become complicated! Can I request for a emotional hibernation please?